Morton's Steak House

I've never been a big steak
house fan, but I'm not opposed to them either. At least until last night. What
an awful experience we had at Morton's. I
was prepared for ridiculous prices, and they were, but I had high hopes, at
least, for the food. No such luck. The service bordered on silly, and their
presentation was absurd. Home cooks eat
out on occasion, and if you're tempted to try a steak house, I'd suggest you
find one other than Morton's.

They roll a cart to the table
before dinner telling you they don't use menus (which is not true because
you'll get a menu after you've suffered through the cart presentation). This cart is filled with raw foods wrapped in
plastic, which a server holds up one by one to tell you what it is: "Porterhouse"
"Fillet", etc. I guess I could
tolerate it on the steak, but when they held up a raw potato, I had to
laugh. Uh….I think we know what a potato
is. Sadly, it was followed by raw
asparagus and, worst of all, a poor, dying lobster whose job it was to be
carted around alive on a dry plate all night, held up at each table. His tentacles were barely moving. At least they didn't drag a cow out. Not a very appetizing start to the night.

I ordered crab cakes. I know I was in a steak house, but I've had
good luck getting fish in other steak houses. And I was in a prime crab meat area. They were awful. Dry as bones,
with an odd perfumey flavor I couldn't identify. There were three of them, which was generous,
and I did manage to eat one. The whole
menu is a la carte, so if you don't order (and pay for) a vegetable, you won't
get one. I ordered green beans. There was so much garlic on them, they were
inedible. 

My husband had a shrimp
appetizer, which was probably the best thing all night, a Porterhouse steak,
which at $50 was just okay, and some of the asparagus we got to see raw earlier
on. We each had two glasses of wine
(don't even get me started on the wine list), and the total bill was $230 for
two people. For bad to mediocre
food. And I had to see Larry the Lobster
being wheeled around on his death bed the rest of the night. 

For some reason, this restaurant chain enjoys a
good reputation. There are millions of
independently-owned restaurants that do a fantastic job of preparing creative
delicious food at very reasonable prices. And they don't insult your intelligence while you're there. Find them, and stay away from Morton's!